Alienated - A Diary Entry - 29/7/2021

I have had a really nice time going out with a friend of mine that unleashed a sea of insecurities. I found myself shifting from the high feeling of enjoying the outing to such a low thinking of how hard it will be for me to find a personality that is closely like my own. I believe I have created an unusual blend of personal characteristics that is difficult to match. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a self-centered person who thinks highly of myself. On the contrary, I feel like life has forced me into experiences that I was neither fit for nor was I willing to go through. Such experiences have proved me wrong on so many levels and on such a regular basis. 

The combinations of such experiences has totally reshaped who I am and how I view the world. My fear of not being able to find someone whose world view is close to mine comes from how far I find my new personality in comparison to how it originally was. It originates to the comparison I am making within my head between how much I could relate to people at the beginning of my journey and how different and alienated I feel right now even when I am surrounded with people I know, love and respect.

I'll leave it here for today and let me revisit you soon